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| [1] && She screams "Am I good enough now?!" && She cries, the blood was no surprise. Tears run down her face, why couldn't he save her? All he had to do is love her, the way she loved him. [2] && Maybe her precious smile, is only there to hide the fears. [3] Maybe she laughs to cover up the tears. [4] My mother won't look at me. She refuses to believe, the slightest bit, there is something wrong with her daughter. [5] You dried my tears when I wanted to cry, && made my life worth living when I wanted to die [6] You've been waiting to break since you woke up this morning. [7] Your suicide attempts are useless. God only takes the best. [8] She's sick of hearing the lies people are spreading about her. Right now, all she wants to hear is the click of the trigger. [9] Whatever doesn't kill you, will probably try again. [10] So carve your apologies in your wrists, Let the guilt drip from your fingertips.
[11] If it makes you happy, then I'm fine. If it makes you sleep at night, I am not suicidal. If it helps you stay ignorant, the scars that lace my body are not proof of how much self-hatred boils inside me. If it keeps you from abandoning me, I'm not crazy.
[12] You don't understand me. You never tried to anyways. [13] You don't understand me. You never tried to anyways. [14] I can't do this anymore. I feel stricken by a severe illness of the body && mind. I have an overwhelming urge to give up && run away. With no goodbyes, no explanations, no justified reason. I just want to get up && run like hell.
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| HeYyY! sorry its been so damn long! here's an update that is well deserved! [1] There are places I'll remember all my life though some have changed. Some forever, not for better. Some have gone, and some remain. All these places have their memories. With loves, and friends I still can recall. Some are dead, and some are living, in my life I've loved them all. 
[2] Baby baby, please believe me, find it in your heart to reach me; promise not to leave me behind
[3] So put me on a list with the disappointed; that list is getting long and you know I know I'm not the only one.
[4] I'm leaving you this message to let you know that nothing has changed you're still a disappointment
[5] I'm in this prison of my own insanity and there's no one I can blame but me; Tossed between the wreckage and washed up on the shore.
[6] Friday left me hopeless Saturday left me scared Sunday drove me crazy Monday just reminded me that I'm still here.
[7] see when you're mad, you don't miss people. so if you stay mad, it's like you never knew them at all. that way you don't feel sucky about them leaving you.
[8] tears are the words that lips aren't strong enough to speak. [9] the inability to open to hope is what blocks trust, & blocked trust is teh reason for blighted dreams. [10] People have scars, in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers. [11] I awoke only to find my lungs empty. Through the night, so it seems I'm not breathing. And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be, And I'm breaking down, I think I'm breaking down. [12] Wouldn't it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don't like.< haha ain't that the damn truth. [13] Whenever i try it feels like, the day is burning away, peeling back my skin wanting to give in, wanting to take this road straight back to nowhere again. [14] Never underestimate the pain of a person because the truth is everyone is struggling. It's just some people hide it better than others. [15] Please, God, stay quiet. Don't let them know you're watching me die. [16] Verse after endless verse, I can't escape the echoed words. I long to find a cure for the feeling I find in these chords. I smile as it burns. [17] I've been living in slow motion for two days shy of four months, and my critics are the best friends I swear I knew once. and in the end, I guess I really never was enough. [18] Hitting walls and getting scars. Only makes you who are. No matter how much your heart is aching. There is beauty in the breaking. [19] Go fucking ahead, judge me. Maybe I am depressed. Maybe I am hiding feelings. Or maybe I just need someone to lean on. But you just go ahead and judge me. After all thats what friends are for. thats it for right now sorry =/ Comment or sumthin
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| Went tanning for the first time today it was Rad. Comment.. seriously. [1] Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same You can ask for it by name 
[2] & i'm scared i'm going to walk out of this room without you ever realizing how much you really truly mean to me. Maybe i'm over you, maybe i've moved on, maybe i like someone else, but maybe i'm a perfectly good liar. If you're willing to chase me, I promise, I'll run slow. 
[3] what do you do, when you wake up and everything will be better, except it's not. there's no worse feeling than when you wake up and feel okay for a minute, and then that sick feeling washes over you and you remember it's not okay, you're not okay. 
[4] 'cause the only thing that matters is that you get away from the pain and the thought of losing your mind. my head hurts.so i'll put some more on here later. | | |
| update time i guess. [1] I cry at weddings hospitals make me nervous I'm sarcastic to a fault but it doesn't matter I can be pretty mean naive is my middle name and I don't believe in perfect love but it doesn't matter he thinks it's cute [2] there is more hunger for love & appreciation in this world than for bread. [3] A secret is the heaviest thing in the world. [4] & everyone knows- the louder the music, the bigger the hearbreak. [5] Please don't get me wrong because I'll never let this go. I can't find the words to tell you, I don't want to be alone. [6] it's like one thousand papercuts soaked in vinegar. like the battles within yourself that leave you insecure. it's all just a known charade, till the day you wake up and you're not afraid. [7] And you're afraid to show a smile cause' you don't want people to overlook the hurt you have in your heart. And you are so scared that they will start to believe that the pain you feel isn't real. [8] somedays i feel like i have to be [.hooked up.] to a machine to prove to myself that ::im really still alive:: -- i can't help it, i just feel so dead inside [9]
I've got some problems but we've got ten dollars That's enough to get us wasted before the night is over These past five days I've been completely sober But tonight I'm getting ripped wide open "Knights Of The Island Counter" - Dave Mellilo
[10] i felt every ounce of me screaming out, but the sound was trapped deep in me. [11] I made the mistake of looking at him. God, he was gorgeous. Even more so when I couldn't have him. Couldn't touch him. Couldn't kiss him. He was supposed to be dead to me. How could he be so beautiful? - Inner Circle by Kate Brian [12] I never thought this could ever end I never thought I'd lose my best friend everything is different now can we stop the world from turning? [13] You're that guy, the one no matter how many more guys I’m with, I'll always have a thing for you. [14] She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, looked him in the eye and said, “You’re the only thing in this screwed up world that’s right. [15] i'm not afraid of heights, i'm afraid of falling. i'm not afraid of the dark, i'm afraid of whats in it. && im not afraid of love, im afraid of not being loved back. [16] I can't listen to my favorite songs anymore because each drumbeat is a massacre, each keystroke is a regret, and each chord is a memory of you. [17] i need to come to realize that he's just a guy, a special one, maybe, but he's not mine. i dont need to do things to make him love me. if he wanted to, he would [18] trust me, i know how it feels. i know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower, so no one can hear you, and waiting for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart. for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. i know exactly how it feels. [19] she finally gave up. She dropped the fake smile as a tear ran down her cheek; she whispered to herself ' I can't do this anymore.
[20] growing up is never straightforward. there are moments when everything is fine, & other moments, when youre a teenager & you realize that there are certain memories that youll never get back. & certain people that are going to change & the hardest part is realizing that theres nothing you can do except watch them, & realize that everything is going to change [21] She cried, everyday. But only for a minute or two. Any longer than that and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop.
[22] People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.
[23]
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| [1] In this life you need to realize one thing -- The only way not to get hurt is to hurt someone first. [2] As I hold you I'm drowning too. I'll hide my tears to help you through, But inside I'm screaming for some healing. Never felt so empty, and I'm telling you it's slowly killing me. Pleading for some meaning, I need to know there's something more to living that this horrible disease. [3] Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn't happened, a whole set of things never would have either? [4] Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you, & it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes, or your hair, or the color of your skin, or where you live, or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, & it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love, & who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, & compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends, & replacing inner hate with love in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. [5] It's only pain, it only hurts; I am only down on the floor where I have been before, and I'll be here again. Though it hurts to lose you, it's only pain. [6] Remember the way you used to laugh, and collect you favorite photographs? But now you can't, because you hate the past. And that's not alright. And no, you're not doing just fine. [7] So maybe one day you'll realize why you shouldn't have ignored me that night. [8] Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling. Frightened you'll slip away. [9] Ain't it funny how you think you're gonna be okay till you remember things ain't never gonna be the same again. Ain't it crazy how you think you've got your whole life planned, just to find out it was never ever in your hands. [10] I'd take it back if I had it all. But you dropped me, you let me fall. I'm here alone, my biggest fear. As my thoughts turn to tears. [11] In your whole life, nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself, and the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit of abuse that you will tolerate from someone else. [12] All I wanted was help. But itstead, it got worse. [13] You can say it all you want sweetie But we all know you didn't change All you did was learn how to hide it better
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